Feedback and Humor

Everyone has a different idea of what is funny. Some people like dry humor, dirty humor, off beat humor, you name it, someone out there will think something is funny, while another person finds it offensive.

Now this ties into to 'Get Smart' because it is all about perspectives. When offering feedback to someone, you either should not use humor, because you do not know how it will be received, or you know the person so well that you know how they will receive your humor.

I have a fairly sarcastic sense of humor (to preface this story). I was out the other day with a friend on a bike ride. We were gearing up for a long training ride in preparation for the Bike MS, a 150 mile Bike Ride in June. We got about 12 miles into the ride and Julia got a flat tire. We tried to put air in the tire and it kept deflating. Julia did not have a spare tube with her (mine was a different size), and I had no idea where we were to go find one, let alone the correct one. We tried to phone a friend, and could not reach anyone. So we started hoofing it to what we thought was the nearest bike shop (you have to love the iPhone!). A 3 mile walk later, some mildly helpful cyclists, a ride offer from a guy in a mini cooper with a bike rack, our pride, and another ride offer from a tri-athlete in a pick-up truck (this one we took) we ended up at a bike shop to purchase a new tube, and a spare one to keep for the future.

When we were at the bike shop the sales-associate mentioned a bike clinic for women on bike maintenance and safety. In my sarcastic way of giving Julia feedback (and I realize I probably was not in the zone, but not totally out of it either) I mentioned that she should sign up for the class. I might have mentioned it 2 or 3 times while we were in the bike store. Now I have never taken one of these classes myself, and probably should take one. At the time, I was a little disappointed in how our day shaped up, but had no control over the situation, and it all worked out ok (wiifm). My reiteration of the bike safety class was how I chose to express my feelings about the situation, and offer feedback to Julia about being prepared for a ride (WIIFT- she won't get stuck by her self out on a ride without the appropriate equipment). She got the not-so-subtle hint of my encouragement to take the class, and even invited me back up to Boulder to take it with her.

While both of us carried positive attitudes with us throughout the adventure, and both realized that had we been fully prepared we would not have had the adventure, my sarcasm/feedback through sarcasm hinted to Julia how easy it would be to have avoided the detour to find a tube once hers popped. I could have been more direct and used less sarcasm to deliver the message, but as I mentioned, I was not totally in the zone.

All things considered we were pretty lucky, even with the sarcasm. The situation turned out just fine. Afterward, I was able to look back and see that my sarcasm was not necessary, and might not have been received with the best spirit because I did not know Julia's approach to humor.

I was able to break down some of the WIIFM, and WIIFT, surrounding the situation and realize I could have been more direct with my feedback.

WIIFM:

• I got to spend time with Julia which I was looking forward to.
• I was able to spend time outside
• I explored new biking territory
• I wanted a longer ride

WIIFU (What's in it for us):

• Safety in numbers
• We didn't get rained on
• We had our first shot at a duathalon.
• We did 25 miles on the bike, and walked for 3 miles

WIIFT:

• Julia learned the proper amount of air-pressure to have in her tires.
• The guy at the bike shop replaced her tube.
• Julia learned about the woman's bike safety class
• Julia got to play bike-tour guide and have a riding partner.

All and All, humor, even sarcasm, with feedback is a tricky line to walk. Julia and I are still able to laugh about our day. She canceled previous plans to attend the bike safety class. I am signing up to do one too.